the penis question (1)
March 22nd, 2007
Most of the last 12 years or so, I’ve been okay with being a single mother to two girls. I’ve managed to feed them and raise them well (the jury is still out on this). But once in a while, I am reminded that I’m alone in this whole journey. And sometimes, I do wish there was someone else I could refer to and say, ‘ask him.’
When my youngest was 3 years old, she flipped through the pages of an Avon catalogue. In her very cute soft voice, she asked me, ‘mom, what is that?’, pointing to a picture of a man in his underwear. And given that she is my daughter, she was pointing at the man’s crotch. Literally, my heart was pounding and my brain was racing 350 kph! ‘How do I respond?’, ‘What do I tell her?’, I thought to myself. Trust me, I considered referring to IT as ‘the birdie’.
But hang on. it’s not a bird. If I tell her that, more questions I cannot answer will come up! Okay, my brain was still running at 350 kph but everything else outside my head is in normal, or maybe slo-mo, pace. I decided to be honest and truthful.
I said, ‘That’s a penis, honey.’
She asked, ‘Mom, what’s a penis?’ (Oh boy. Here come the other questions.)
I said, ‘A penis is what boys have.’ (I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to say.) I added, “It’s where their pee comes out of.’ (Oh goodness. I’m a complete moron.)
She asked again, ‘What’s mine called?’
I replied, ‘A vagina.’
And that was the end of that.
Three days later, she came running home from her friend’s house, and at the top of her voice yelled out to me, ‘Mom! I saw Ian’s penis while her mom was giving him a bath!’
It was clearly not the end of that.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:55 am
I consider myself a single mom too and I have two boys; the elder is will be turning 11 this August and the younger just turned 10. It has been made known to both kids when they celebrated each 7th birthday, summer 2007 will be the year they are going to be circumcised.
Since then the kids never stopped bothering asking anything they could think of. What made things more difficult for me is that I don’t have a brother and my sisters’ husbands are overseas, non-existent or simply refuse to exist. I am now relying on my father to explain the whole process. I am more afraid now that he has flagged that the “traditional method” will give a better result.
Now that is something that really needs explaining
March 24th, 2007 at 11:16 am
[…] Same daughter, only four years later… […]
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:11 am
Hi Nette,
Maybe if I had a son (or will have one) I would want him to go through the whole process of circumcision. I know nowadays it’s becoming a matter of choice for parents and sons to have it or not (at least in most parts of the world). But I believe circumcision is a rite of passage for boys. I don’t know how yet to explain that to a son, but I will sure try.
On another note, if all women react to an uncircumcised penis like I do, I sure will have my son circumcised! Hahaha.
April 5th, 2007 at 12:52 am
[…] When my daughter was 3 (Yes, same one. I know. She was too mature for her age.), she slumped on the floor beside me one day while I was in front of the computer. I asked her what was the matter. Her face in her hands and sulking, she said, “I don’t want to have dark skin anymore.” […]
April 7th, 2007 at 9:33 am
really, whats wrong with an uncircumcised penis? I thought they all looked the same when they are (ummmm) erect anyway!